#IM GOING BACK INTO DRAWING EVERYBODY
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decided to revise my Scott design but pretty much the only thing changed is that i wanted to make him less of a twink
#there are some characters that i cant not make twinks because the vibes are. overwhelming#but scott is not one of them#i still will probably draw him as a twink but yk. variety#scott smajor#smajor1995#court jester's art#IM GOING BACK INTO DRAWING EVERYBODY#IM DRAWING STUFF RN#i hope it doesnt change#i have. MANY things planed
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Our power is back on!!!!!😭💖💖🌟🌟
#it was out for 10 days 😭😭😭😭😭#it was caused by hurricane helene that hit the carolinas really bad last week#i live in south carolina not north#but South Carolina especially the upstate (where i live) got hit pretty bad#lots of fallen trees on houses and everybody lost power#nowhere as bad as north carolina but still 😭😭#very intense#i also had a very fun adventure of getting food poisoning a couple days ago😭😭😭😭#so ive been eating nothing but dry cereal and tea since lol#the power came on last night#i immediately cleaned everything haha#the scariest part is how out of the blue all of this was#had no idea it was going to happen#anyway hopefully this week i can get back to it!!!#making more art and stuff#my drawing tablet plugs into the wall and it killed me last week not being able to draw on the computer 😭😭😭#minor problems ik 😭😭#very happy and grateful rn#also gonna take a lot of naps bc im very tired lol
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Been thinking since @measlyscrapofseafood posted this about the whole 'does Rinzler become Tron post-Legacy or does Rinzler stay Rinzler????' & anyways it ended up leaving me with some thoughts about how my sad ass, shaggy version of Rinz would be if he did return to being Tron....
So here's my interpretation of the hero program as he'd be after all that shit he'd gone through. But even though other programs celebrate his return, there's something just not right about him.
The guy is more than just a bit broken but he too wants to go back to being the good guy everyone has been waiting for & out of blind happiness to have him back, everyone just tries to ignore the off-ness he now carries as his burden from the monster Tron became as Rinzler.
But, during his return to the games, he's just a bit too brutal & after derezzing a few programs because he just can't turn off his old programming.... other folks start realizing some freaky shit is going on...
#tron#rinzler#nok draws#hey - theres something wrong with him!! /said with love♡#im sure its pretty obvi#but i usually stick to tron staying rinzler after legacy's events#but this sort of thing is so intruguing to me too#he just wants to be the hero again & be the good guy everyone has been waiting for!....#but he cant be#theres no going back from here#everybody loves some#tronzler#like a corpse walking around without a soul#something is majorly screwy in his code forever#nok digital
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hi tumblr im pyrr pyrriax and im in my trimonthly artist arc, lord help me and all the projects that are currently sitting in my drafts while i am lured in by the siren song of drawing
#haunted ecosystem#this is not helping with how much my hands hurt on a daily basis this is why i type and dont handwrite/draw very much.#im lured in regardless and i really need to find an artform that doesnt Hurt but for now. digital art <3#like theres a difference between my dumb doodles (quick easy not much different from regular computer usage) and actual art#but im an artist at heart i spent sooooo long being an artist and thinking i was shit at writing. that is wrong! im actually kinda good#im rambling in tags today because i have been not social (my partner is in genshin hell and my beloved is. somewhere.)#okay but on another note i reread the first. couple chapters of wtds this morning? the pacing is a little weird and the tense is fucked#but its actually a lot better than i thought it was? you can tell i was fleshing everybody out in my head and i totally forgot about how#i described the watcher [who i am STILL redacting the name of until we get there] and just. ough. pandora being very logical#and then jumping to the latest chapter and fucking sobbing because i forgot about how it went and just. pandora and his.#whatever the fuck is wrong with him.#i have gotta start recommending people read that again. its surprisingly friendly without context because of how i approached it#that fic has taught me so many things its actually a little comical. it also made me relearn how to make and write ocs so thats fun#once i finish that main fic (and i WILL i am actually planning to sign up for a thing. im finishing it i swear.) i finally get to show off#more of the world and characters ive crafted. showing backstories and what-ifs and all these oneshots ive been keeping close to my chest#for like absolutely ages because i dont want any spoilers on my tumblr#and. im finishing that fic in pseudo-memoriam of somebody who deleted their accounts everywhere. still miss you dane!#ok this has completely gone off topic ily tumblr im going back to drawing and i might make a new pfp#it'll still be lavius but it'll be fray lavius since i think about him a lot and i like his color palette.
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Blood drooling from my mouth I neeeeeeeeed to get back into making music i neeeed to i do i need to. I fucking. Foaming at the mouth frothing at the mouth i haven't played an instrument in so long.
#jay talkin#ok so see the situation is i am not good at any instrument but i play guitar and bass (and keyboard sometimes) and drums#i have issues with my arm that on top of affecting my ability to draw also severelly impact my ability to play#and i also live with people one of whom works in the room directly below me so im so paranoid about making noise#i cant be loud i cant be disruptive but jesus christ i need to play more often#im not going to get GOOD if i dont PLAY#yeah id have to fix my bass and ahit but. UGH I JUST WANT TO PLAY#WHATS THE POINT OF OWNING AN ELECTRIC GUITAR AN ACOUSTIC GUITAR AND AN ELECTROACOUSTIC BASS IF NOT TO PLAY THEM#i did have an electric drumkit and my dads old 80's synth but ppl all but stole them back away from me so lol. lmao#whatever. i still have my guitars. even if ppl do take them sometimes#ugh really what i need to do is figure out if i can route my guitars through my pc rather than an amp so i can record and mess w that in fl#god. fucking biting my own arms off i wish i lived elsewhere#for more reasons than just the freedom to make music and have ppl not take my shit. but yknow. itd also help that#everybody prayer circle for jay transitioning and moving out in under thirty more years ok. its a longshot but heres hoping#anyway. music. its good. i want to make dramatic weird goth metal.
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Ah-a I'm free from exams!! Happy new month ^^ *hands you Magnetic Duo doodle*
(I call this "doodle" but it's actually "was supossed to be a doodle but took almost 2 hours to complete")
#ill be checking my notifs and all tomorrow bc im still TIRED#gonna sleep now goodnigjt everybody#rottmnt#rottmnt fanart#im gonna go back to rise april challenge soon too#and draw something for cass series bc oh boy that donnie chapter hurt :")#oh rjght i was tagging#rottmnt leo#rottmnt raph#rise leo#rise raph#magnetic duo#a team#self sacrifice duo#>:]#rottmnt leonardo#rottmnt raphael#nighty arty#i feel like i forgot to add something on the drawing help#its probably nothing but still hmmmm
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It is so fucking funny how someone telling me to do something is the fastest and easiest way to get me to want to Actively grind my life back to halt instead.
#horse.txt#vent //#its dumb. im being dumb let me be clear. this is about getting a fucking job. writing my resume. my mom told me i need to#'start getting serious' about it#and i do. i do.#im just. ghhhh i feel like im going to fucking explode. its so easy its so easy everybody has to do it i dont get to be fucking special#but knowing that never fucking Means anything i can know that like its tattooed to my eyelids and it doesn't change the fact that#i have no idea what the fuck to do#i have lists and lists and lists of advice and tips and help and links and i appreciate them bc at least now i have a foundation to jump off#but i still can't fucking get through them#i cant figure it out. its right there but the second i start to try i run into some roadblock and i start freaking the fuck out#and then i cant fucking go back to it bc by then ive spent an hour crying and im too tired to do anything but sit and cry some more#i hate the fucking options here. i hate the options everywhete. i dont want to fucking work dude im just. im not fucking there#but theres no other fucking option and people get so fucking mean when you try to say that bc im just being fucking lazy lazy lazy#i dont know. if i am im not sure i care that much anymore#im just tired of feeling so fucking miserable and useless but it's hard to ignore because i just amm!!!!!#the only thing i can do better than some people is draw and the idea of doing That for a job makes me feel sick to my stomach#man. i dont know. idk#sometimes i just have to catastrophize things to get it out of my system . iygiygi#ill be fine#just might be a tense Christmas apparently.
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it has been so long since a game has done this level of irreparable damage to my emotional wellbeing
#yes this is about persona 3 i am no longer the same person i was before this game#it has permanently altered my brain chemistry. reorganized every single molecule in my body#it has fundamentally changed me as a person#ive been doong horribly in school bc i literally canmot focus in class#all i can tjink about is p3 and how quickly i can rush tjroigh assignments so i can go back to my room and play persona all night it#is not healthy i need summer break for a reason and thay is to be able to let out all this energy so i can#function properly in daily life#ivr half a mind to make little digital p3 emote sticker thing doodles so that i can plaster them on my notes#i think if i have a drawing of aigis next to my linear algebra notes i will have more motivation to read them#going to make so many aki ones...#all of this is if i have the time and energy tho. i hate school so much#rambling about stuff#literally been listening to tje p3 soundtrack everyday when i study#its that bad. it really is that bad. i need to start taking school seriously i cannot fail my classes i do not jave tje money to afford rep#ating any classes#also coping w how hesvy the p3 story is compared to the other games ithink... idk man im thriving off of tjr everybody lives no one dies au#and imean i get thay that kinda goes against the whole tjeme of tje game but like. let them be happy ;O;#maxing all my social links bc i love them all so much tjey are bffs forever. sees bffs sees bffs i love sees#im not even that far into my playthrougj yet ive yet to meet aigis but that is coming soon!!!#going to hug her so hard when she finally shows up#ryoji too ;w;#celebrating every mochizuki monday so i actually get out of bed and go to class#fuck linear algebra i might actuslly fail linear algebra i have no clue whats going in linear algebra ryoji mochizuki would never
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drawing is kinda nice actually<3
#ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ idle chit chat#still hav a lot to learn but tbh i’m content w my current skills hehe#IDK i’m at that point where i just genuinely enjoy the process#sobs my drawings used to take like . 10 hours minimum back then but now i can complete a drawing in 2-3 hours :(<3 if i hyper focus on it ww#i want 2 branch out more and draw something more than just characters looking pretty :3#since i’ve basically mastered how 2 draw the human body now i think it’s time 2 suck it up and explore more ideas#art is just so nice tbh . overtime i’ve learned to just enjoy the process and i think it really helped me a lot#but tbh i’ve gone like 4 months without drawing bc i was so burnt out after basically . forcing myself 2 improve faster and faster#abt something that will rlly only improve over the years#i don’t want to go back there again and relearn the stuff i learned LMAO🗿#ever since i just told myself to take it easy#being an artist is hard but sometimes . sometimes i enjoy it .a lot<3#IDK ever since i was a kid i’ve always just been an art kid#i’d draw in class and my teacher would pin my drawings on our board thing where u can pin pages wwww#and everybody would just go ‘oh name? yeah she’s the art kid’#apparently i inspired one of my classmates to start drawing and aaaa my heart feels so happy when they go to me to learn fhdjnfdi#yeah :3 art is good <3#SORRY ABT THIS RAMBLE HELP IDK WAHTS GOING OM WITHH ME IM USUALLY CRYING ABT ART BUT TODAY IS DIFFERENT❕❕
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I want to make a big image showing how Peacemaker’s costume has never been drawn the same way by two different artists but then when I was going through examples it changed mid-issue in one of the issues from his 60s solo and I just immediately gave up
#Its really funny to me because its always such a simple design!#And yet nobody draws it the same way. Everybody draws his helmet differently#His logos always changing shape. Boots and gloves always changing length#Also constantly going back and forth on if he has long sleeves or not#And this isnt like His Design Changing its literally just nobody draws it the same#even when people are just drawing his show design#Im guilty of this too I can never decide on how I wanna draw his helmet.
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I think looking me in the face and telling me I'm just as bad for yelling at somebody after they've exhausted my patience after having repeatedly punched me, kicked me, bruised my body, and just now slapped me in the fucking face is some absolute bitch shit and does nothing to counter my belief that absolutely nobody in this house values shit about me....
#like truly where were you guys when i was puking my fucking guts out everu morning#not sleeping or eating through the entirety of middle school because of my own trauma???#yall just went heres some aloe juice get over it#and this isnt to say my sister doesnt deserve empathy or care#its just insane that everybody sprints to action for her without hesitation#up to the point where they're excusing or okaying her fucking hitting me#and now my mom is like you do nothing to help!! i literally am the one taking hits so your fucking knee doesnt break#from this girl kicking the shit out of you what the fuck are you on!?#im the only one who has some sense of drawing a line with this like its awful that horrible shit happened#but trauma doesnt okay literally physical violence and what i say isnt equivalent to like fighting her back psychically#all i do is say hey cut that out that shit hurts youre being mean youre going to break our moms fucking knee#or you know fuck you now thay my fucking cheek is swollen....
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how am i supposed to live my life when icebound isnt even over. joever. ogre. joegre. im getting distracted and i think i'll say joegre for the rest of my life. but back on topic, if i don't find out what happens next i think i may explode
#joegre is my ogretown oc. im kidding. or am i.#stop reading my posts at this point. look. i guess ill just go back to drawing skrimmbleshanks getting dragged to hell#when i get home from work that is.#gmtxt#hingeless post sorry everybody
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Dam hi hello I never rly make text posts bc I dont know how to just yap away on tumblr but sorta status update that I wanna share here bc I post so rarely-
Lot of ppl would prolly say "hey we know u got a life and you're busy u cant always draw" but my ass has had so much time the past several years and I just couldnt get myself to draw
Well, I'm finally on a waitlist for an adhd diagnosis bc maybe just maybe not being able to do the things I want to do (and my responsibilities) wasnt just a depression thing oops
#miko talks#I've been kinda just beating myself up over it and upset that I didnt have frequently new oc stuff to yap about or the energy to make#drawings that lean more into the storytelling aspect#as of now only my discord friends rly know wtf is even going on with my ocs bc I like to headcanon in dms#I never know where to start if I were to share it online bc I?? Idk if Im cut out to make comics and I never truly got into proper writing#my writing style is literally just thinking of random scenarios and moments and stringing it together like a headcanon#and never an actual story start with an actual pov and fluorescent language or whatever lmao its just#“and then I imagine them doing this and that and if they did this that would be kinda fun wouldnt it”#so yeah Im definitely still figuring out how to work on that more#also once I have that adhd/autism diagnosis done with I do hope that my speculation isnt wrong I always doubt myself even tho I've pondered#this over for the past 3 years- well I hope I can get some sorta meds that clear up this invisible blockade in my brain#I dont know what to expect Im sorta anxious of how I'll feel like everybody else I heard talking about it that if I take the meds if I rly#am just gonna be able to machine gun out all the ideas in my brain without holding myself back anymore hah#oh well 15 months wait time lmaoo woop dee doo wish me luck Im also going to school again dskjfhsdf
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sometimes i think too hard about yae miko and lose it. and there's never any outlet
#look people are so weird about her and i get it! it is the Be Weird About People fandom!#and she's unambiguously a sexy fox lady so like. i do get where it's coming from#and it's understandable that people don't talk as much about the inazuma characters bc the inazuma archon quests were uh. v bad lmao#but yae miko is soooo#like shes so different from any other character. she's unapologetically selfish and possessive and manipulative#like idk i think she sucks. she sucks in a way that the playable characters are v rarely allowed to suck#but she cares so deeply about that which is hers#and will annoy everybody else!! she's just here for the bit! she's lazy! she singlehandedly saved her country!#i feel like every few months i go through a phase where im done w genshin and then i get dragged back by something#never enough to actually write more fic or draw art but like. enough to play the game and think about it yaknow#out of resin#candles speaks
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Guy who has been without his boyfriend for only 8hrs voice: i miss my fjucking BOYFRIEND >:(
#jay talkin#hes on an airpane back 2 da states for 7hrs everybody wish him a good flight NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#dealing w vacay being over by: eating as much candy as i can#and getting so engrossed in drawing water and rendering it by hand the hard way that i forget my pizza and burn it.#im DEALING. NORMALLY!!!!#any trillionaires wanna fund a lil fruit so he can go see his bf again and again and again and again. pease. pwease.#(im being sillyfunny im ok <3 i just MISS MY BNOYFRIIIEEEEND DONT LOOK AT MEEEEE ok im normal)#anyway send him beams of positive energy while he's on his flight or face my wrath. hes the worlds best and nicest man and he deserves it o#also hiiiii baby hiiiii sweetie if u see me being sappy on tumblr later ahee ahee (blinking so innocently)#also i ate a rlly sour sweet and now my mouth is a lil ouchy but it was SOOOOOO YUMMY
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Just had the worst art class
#my posts#i thought it would be fun but about halfway thru i was fighting back tears#and he wanted us to take our work home and work on it but i didnt take pictures until the end of class#because i COULD NOT get the shapes to line up the way i drew them. the lighting and the positions were#totally off so i didnt want to use the wrong set up as a reference#but he has to drive to another state to teach his next class so about 40 minutes before class ends he packs up the shapes and lets us go#so i didnt Get any good pictures where everything lines up because i thought it would be rude to rearrange the shapes#when everybody else was still drawing them#so now im not going to work on it at home and when we come back i probably still wont be able to get the references right#and ill be behind And im unhappy with the point im currently at and next class is the last time we have to work on this piece#and im so ;-; im very frustrated and i still have one more exam to take today
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